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Before you GET to the boom-boom room. PT 1

We are all adults. Now with that being said, the Black family structure of a Father & Mother in the home is no longer the norm. Single parents households are. Here are a few things to think about in order to change this dynamic.

13 Questions to ask Before you even GET to the boom-boom room.
By, Brother Dre

1) How can we measure a potential mates maturity?
2) How can we measure a potential mates long term compatibility?
3) What makes someone marriage material?
4) What personal issues should most people correct before they even think of marriage?
5) What makes a marriage successful?
6) Why are so many people in the U.S. (statistically) getting divorces, and how can we avoid common marriage pitfalls?
7) What books, DVD’s, Websites, etc. can people utilize to learn more about developing and maintaining a successful marriage?
8) Is this person a great human being?
9) Have people who don’t each other, who both know you your said. “Don’t date that person”.
10) Are they Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?
11) Did you ask or have you been asked your STD status.
12) Do they make me a better human being?
13) Was I raised to be a husband or wife? If not, what training can I aquire before I have a child.

Listed below are some supporting facts on why it’s important to have a Father & Mother in the home with the child:

Children raised in intact married families are more likely to attend college, are physically and emotionally healthier, are less likely to be physically or sexually abused, less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors, have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married, are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager, and are less likely to be raised in poverty. (“Why Marriage Matters: 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences,” Bradford Wilcox, Institute for American Values, www.americanvalues.org/html/r-wmm.html)

Children receive gender specific support from having a mother and a father. Research shows that particular roles of mothers (e.g., to nurture) and fathers (e.g., to discipline), as well as complex biologically rooted interactions, are important for the development of boys and girls. (“Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles,” 2006, www.princetonprinciples.org)

A child living with a single mother is 14 times more likely to suffer serious physical abuse than is a child living with married biological parents. A child whose mother cohabits with a man other than the child’s father is 33 times more likely to suffer serious physical child abuse. (“The Positive Effects…”)

In married families, about 1/3 of adolescents are sexually active. However, for teenagers in stepfamilies, cohabiting households, divorced families, and those with single unwed parents, the percentage rises above 1/2. (“The Positive Effects…”)

Growing up outside an intact marriage increases the chance that children themselves will divorce or become unwed parents. (“26 Conclusions…” and “Marriage and the Public Good…”) * Children of divorce experience lasting tension as a result of the increasing differences in their parents’ values and ideas. At a young age they must make mature decisions regarding their beliefs and values. Children of so called “good divorces” fared worse emotionally than children who grew up in an unhappy but “low-conflict'”marriage. (“Ten Findings from a National Study on the Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce,” Elizabeth Marquardt, www.betweentwoworlds.org)

I hope you find this useful!
Brother DreAndre C. Hatchett


March 28, 2014
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